As I reread the reading, I realised that I have judged Philip Yancey for what I thought to be a low blow at homosexuals and prostitutes. Philip Yancey had not done so but in fact was talking about the irony of people who think that they are perfect and look down on homosexuals and prostitudes!
My apologies, Philip Yancey! My apologies, to classmates whom I have misled into believing that Philip Yancey is a hypocrite. I am sorry…
Much grace is needed for me. Not to be poured out but to be received!
I can receive no more grace than my cup is not filled with righteousness (self). Oh this self-righteousness is so sneaky… so subtle… so disguised. This self-righteousness dresses itself as an anger towards ‘injustice’, oh, do I see ‘injustice’ when I am threatened… All of a sudden the world is wrong and fallen, all of a sudden my intentions are most righteous and their actions so inappropriate.
Gratitude.
When I fail, every day, many times in an hour, if I am to be truthful, the thoughts that I know about and that I don’t know about, most dreadful. If they had smell, I imagine they would smell close to long dead bodies.
When I fail, I despair… Oh, if only I sinned less, perhaps Jesus would have suffered less…
When I fail, I think, another lash on Jesus’s precious body, in those moments, tears roll.
When I fail, I taste tears of gratitude, I imagine, like the tears of the girl at the feet of Jesus, drying His Holy feet with her hair.
When I fail, I imagine a sweet smile coming on His beautiful weathered, beaten face as He hung on the cross, saying “It is finished”, trusting fully that I have been fully redeemed.
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